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Experience

Whatever city you live in Canada: Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Saskatoon, Regina, Winnipeg, Ottawa, Toronto, Hamilton, Halifax or MontrealSt John’s, to experience enlightenment you have to have the courage to wake up and honour the call of your true self. 

Who you are on the inside. To know your inner self, is to know your intentions, values, inspirations, and beliefs. Not what you’ve been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself. 

Babies

I truly believe that we are born enlightened. When we are little babies we don’t have to do anything to prove our beauty and authenticity. We just are. 

We live in the moment, wild and exquisite. We are beautiful as is. However as we get older we can become lost and disillusioned by the world and how we perceive our experiences. 

This was very true for me. Where did my spark go? How had I lost myself? When you resist and hide who you are in order to be what everyone else expects you to be, your spark begins to fade. When I internalized those false beliefs, I became lost. 

Grew

I grew up in a disruptive and angry home. It was not always safe to have an opinion so I learned to be quiet and small. 

I wanted to be seen as ‘good’ and I wanted others to be happy, so I went out of the way to please others always at the expense of myself. 

I carried and perfected these good-girl, agree-with-everyone traits right into adulthood. I worked really hard to be a ‘good’ daughter, mother, wife, employee and friend. 

The more I tried to be all these things for everyone else, the more disconnected and lost I felt towards myself. 

Ignored

Interestingly, the more I ignored who I was, the more issues I started having with my health. I was not at all happy or alive. I felt anxious, paralyzed, and ready to combust. 

When I started on this yoga journey I was at my lowest. As stated previously in my last two essays, I thought I was doing yoga as a way to move my body and improve my pain. 

I did not start yoga with the intention of transforming my inner-self. But, the more yoga I did, the more self- transformations I experienced. This was a side-effect. An added bonus. A life-saver. I shifted my thinking from victim to victor. 

Rise

All of my painful past experiences I started to use to become and to rise. “This is why every great spiritual teacher tells us the same story about humanity and pain: Don’t avoid it. You need it to evolve, to become. 

Like Buddha, who had to leave his life of comfort to experience all kinds of human suffering before finding enlightenment.

When I am meditating and things are quiet and still, I feel the most connected to myself. Here in the quietness of the present moment, can I hear the whisperings of my inner-self. 

She has told me the truest most beautiful life for me includes: being brave enough to put myself first even if that means disappointing others. 

Rest and relaxation on my terms, and with no strings attached like guilt or laziness (i don’t need to hustle to prove my self-worth); exploring nature and all it’s colours, details, and textures; a life free of pain.

Small

Asserting myself in the moment without feeling paralyzed and small; I can do hard things without completely falling apart.

I can be okay with darkness, because where there is darkness, there is light and healing. This list is subject to change and will change as I continue to grow and evolve. 

I truly believe the more I rediscover, tend to, trust, and work on not abandoning my truest self, I will continue to live an enlightened life.